


In it for the long haul

by nobody_is_typing



Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:02:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22973665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nobody_is_typing/pseuds/nobody_is_typing
Summary: The Captain is trying their best and Felix needs an extra push to see that
Relationships: Felix Millstone/Reader, Female Captain/Felix Millstone, The Captain/Felix Millstone
Kudos: 42





	In it for the long haul

You’d been so excited to board the Hope initially, the promise of a new world, a new life. A Hope for a better future. But then Phineas had woken you up, left you hurtling towards a planet you’d never even heard of in your life, with barely strength enough to lift your own arms, let alone a weapon in this new landscape, the violent and beautiful place it was. Hawthorne was supposed to meet you, but the moment you hauled yourself out of your pod and slipped on the slick ground you knew he had indeed met the pod where he was supposed to. Albeit, a far too bloody meeting, but he had still been there. You couldn’t bring yourself to scavenge his body, your head thrumming and the feeling slowly coming back to your fingertips. Your hands clenched and unclenched with each step you took, doing your best to regain not only the feeling in your limbs but also the dexterity and agility you’d had before you were frozen. 

Seventy years, Phineas had said, seventy-fucking-years. It’s an absolute miracle that your limbs worked at all. ‘Explosive cell death’, Phineas had said. ‘Liquefaction’, Phineas had said. ‘Save the colonists’, Phineas had said. ‘You’re going to die’, Phineas had probably said. 

Fuck!

Who was this man? What kind of fucking doctor was he? Where in the absolute fuck were you!

There’s rats, but they’re not rats. There’s a wild dog, but it isn’t. Everything is so familiar and so different. You’re scared, of course you are; a crumbling, corporate-dominated society filled with cannibals and outlaws and wild beasts beyond your imagination. 

Fuck!

But finally, you get a weapon, gather your senses, and press on. Through the deserters, through Edgewater, through the outlaws and marauders and corporate troopers. Through the horrors you witness first hand. Injured workers being “damaged company property”, the plague houses and their inhabitants (living and otherwise), the paperwork needed to simply help someone (if you could at all). It disgusted you, you nearly snarled when Parvati told you of her mother, when you found out that they would only give medicine to people who the company deemed worthy, that people died thinking they deserved it because they didn’t work hard enough for someone else’s bottom line. It infuriated you to your core, made you tremble as you spoke to anyone of authority or heard a person weakly say their contractually obligated slogan through their pain. One was definitely more common than the other.

But finally, you left the planet, travelled to the Ground Breaker, met allies, met indifferents, met enemies. 

And Felix. 

God, you’d finally met Felix. Young, passionate, handsome. He seemed like a character out of those aetherwave serials he brought up so often. He was trouble, the man simply embodied boyish charm with a rebel streak right down the middle. The messy hair he’d run his fingers through as he yawned against the back of his hand every morning, the way he liked to crisp the edges of his pancakes with oil right before he served them, the snacks he left in his room so he wouldn’t have to wander around after ADA turned the lights down for the evening. Because, while he won’t admit it, the noises of the ship still startle him and Ellie has snuck up behind him one-too-many times. And most of all, the thing that drew you to him the most, aside from his beautiful face, his toned physique, and his confidence; was how much he cares. 

His banter with Vicar Max, his idolization of Ellie and Nyoka, his support of Parvati, the way he tries to get SAM to think for himself, the way he thanks ADA. He genuinely wants what’s best for this crew, the people who took him in and gave him a purpose, gave him a family. 

Felix Millstone was an orphan, a stow away, a dock worker. And he was one of the best damn men you’ve met in your entire life. He was getting shot at, mauled, attacked, and threatened. But he took it all in stride, chin up, and wearing cocky confidence like a cloak. Parvati had Junlei, their awkward but emotional young love. And you, you had Felix. Not that you had told him. You’re his captain, his leader, his mentor. It felt wrong to look at his back through the thin fabric of his undershirt and feel lust, but it was something you hadn’t been able to stop yet. Of course, you’d avert your eyes and will yourself to pay attention to whatever Ellie was saying. It didn’t help much, because your eyes would be following the lines of his body seconds later.

You’d taken him with you when you left the ship this morning, you shouldn’t have, but it didn’t feel the same without him. You’d done a mission for the Board, not directly, but for one of their subsidiaries, Spacer’s Choice. You’d gotten and completed an assignment from “the man,” and Felix hadn’t looked at you until you’d arrived back at the ship. 

“I can’t believe you did that!” His voice is low and disappointed, he won’t look at you. “I thought you weren’t a puppet, not like the rest of them.” 

“I-” you inhale deeply, willing the thickness in your throat to go away. “I need to get on the planet, Felix, I didn’t know how else to do it.” 

“You didn’t have to kill him.”

“I didn’t have a choice, he didn’t give me a choice.” You hadn’t wanted to pull the trigger, you hadn’t wanted to feel the warmth of his blood on your cheeks, but you had a bigger picture and a deadline to meet. 

“I don’t know if I can do this anymore.” 

“That’s okay, you can stay with ADA more if that’d make you more comfortable and I can have SAM-”

“That’s not what I meant.” He looks at you now, his eyes full of emotion and the strongest one hurts your heart. Disappointment. “I don’t know if I can fly with you if you’re going to work for the Board.”

And you break. 

All of the terror, fury, and loneliness you’ve felt comes barrelling against your chest and the noise that leaves you is a painful inhale as the tears you’ve withheld for weeks come pouring down your face. No, you can’t lose anyone else. Not when it feels like everyone you knew on the Hope is dead, they might as well be in this state. Your arms wrap around his waist, seemingly of their own accord, and you bury your face in his chest. The scent of space dirt, Zero Gee, and his own sweat makes you bawl harder. He guides you to the floor, holding you awkwardly as he tries to soothe you. Finally, you manage to pull yourself together enough to try and calm down. You lean back, take his face in your hands, gaze into his eyes and say:

“I need someone to be my conscience, it’s always been you, please don’t leave me.” Your voice is weak and shaky, but there is a firmness there that makes him hug you tightly as you begin to cry once more. He apologizes for being rash and you apologize for not thinking of your crew, there’s a lot of apologizing until you hear a drunk Nyoka shout:

“Jus fuchin kess alreedy!” Followed by Ellie calling out her agreement. 

But you don’t, the two of you make it to the captain’s quarters and sit on the edge of the bed, holding each other and letting out everything you’ve been bottling up since you woke up in that damn pod. You admit you’re terrified and Felix admits he’s never looked at it from your point of view. An entirely different era, completely foreign territory, he understands better now. 

It’s nearly three weeks later, you’re about to head out so you can finally put down the mantiqueen, when Felix yanks you out of the doorway by your armor, presses his lips to yours in the most passionate kiss you think you’ve ever had and as he’s blushing says, “you’d better come back to me.” You’re too stunned to move your a moment but when you realize what happened, you cup the back of his neck and kiss him just as passionately.

“You’d better be ready when I do.”


End file.
